


another one of these. sigh.

by StainStan



Category: South Park
Genre: Crack, Craig Tucker is a greedy bitch, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, F/M, Group chat, Kenny will steal your breakfast, M/M, Memes, Poptarts, cartman is an illiterate fuckface, cartman is here for like 1/11000 of a second, established Butters/Tweek, existing relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 08:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17546567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainStan/pseuds/StainStan
Summary: don't @ me bitches





	another one of these. sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Craig Tucker is a Thundercunt  
> Stan Marsh- Starsh Marsh  
> Kenny McCormick- McWhoredick  
> Kyle Broflovski- Kyb  
> Eric Cartman- IhateKahl  
> Leopold Stotch- Buttercup  
> Dovahkiin- King of Zaron
> 
> Kenny McCormick is a Greedy Whore> Clyde’s Big Tiddy Goth GF  
> Tweek Tweak- Thunder Geek  
> Craig Tucker- Greg Fucker  
> Clyde Donovan- #1 Taco Bell Fan  
> Token Black- Dark Grey

Kenneth McCormick has created a group chat

Kenneth McCormick has added Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and Stanley Marsh to the chat

Kenneth McCormick has named the group chat Craig Tucker is a Thundercunt

Kyle Broflovski: What did Craig do this time?

Kenneth McCormick: he refused to relinquish his poptarts 

Eric Cartman: lul onlee a fagget lyke u wood wont poptarts frum criag tukcer

Kyle Broflovski: Literally the only thing spelled right in that sentence was ‘poptarts’.

Kyle Broflovski: That says a lot, doesn't it?

Eric Cartman: shut up u stoopid jew! nobudy wonts ur upiniun

Kyle Broflovski: *you *stupid *nobody *wants *your *opinion

Stanley Marsh: ugh Kenny can you change our nicknames it's so fucking weird seeing Cartman called ‘eric’

Kenneth McCormick: yeah it is kinda weird seeing my screen name as Kenneth. 

Kenneth McCormick has changed their name to McWhoredick

McWhoredick has changed Stanley Marsh’s name to Starsh Marsh

McWhoredick has changed Kyle Broflovski’s name to Kyb

Kyb: Wow. So original. I love it.

McWhoredick: no need to be a smartass, Kyb 

Kyb: Shut up. 

Starsh Marsh: what the fuck is a starsh marsh 

McWhoredick: you, duh

Starsh Marsh: okay then.

Eric Cartman has changed their name to IhateKahl

Kyb: My name isn't ‘Kahl’.

IhateKahl: SHUT UR DIRTIE JEW MOUF

Starsh Marsh: ‘mouf’ is one letter away from being muff and I am very uncomfortable 

McWhoredick: you  _ would _ be uncomfortable around muffs, wouldn't you Stan

Starsh Marsh: what's that supposed to mean?

McWhoredick: if you haven't figured it out by now, you're never going to. 

Kyb: Ignoring Fatass, why were you asking Craig for poptarts in the first place Kenny?

McWhoredick: because Stan won't give them to me anymore and I need breakfast

Starsh Marsh: you broke my moms vase and got me grounded for a month, Kenny!

McWhoredick: AND IM GONNA STARVE

Kyb: Kenny, don't be so over dramatic. You won't die. Stan, give the man his goddamn poptarts. 

Starsh Marsh: I can't win

McWhoredick: nope ;3

Kyb: Stop that. 

Starsh Marsh: ^

McWhoredick: aw, you guys are no fun

Kyb: Just because we don’t like your asterisks roleplaying shit doesn’t mean we’re not fun, Ken.

McWhoredick: I know that

McWhoredick: you guys act like everything I ever say is serious

Starsh Marsh: sorry, dude

Starsh Marsh: it’s kinda hard to tell if you’re being sarcastic over text

McWhoredick: yah I know

IhateKahl: u fagz r so buring

IhateKahl: scruw u gies, im leeving

IhateKahl has gone offline 

Kyb: Good riddance.

Starsh Marsh: ding dong, the witch is dead

McWhoredick: thank god

McWhoredick: honest question, why do we still hang out with him?

Kyb: I really don’t know. 

Starsh Marsh: I kind of figured that we’d drop him like a hot potato after that stunt he pulled in the sixth grade

McWhoredick: oh yeah, I remember that

McWhoredick: Cartman’s a scumfuck

Starsh Marsh: all in favor of dropping that fat fuck (preferably down a canyon) say I

Kyb: I.

McWhoredick: I

Starsh Marsh: glad we all agree 

Starsh Marsh: now what should we do about him? 

Kyb: IP ban him.

McWhoredick: block him on all social medias

Kyb: Avoid him in the hallways. 

Starsh Marsh: all good ideas

Starsh Marsh: Kenny?

McWhoredick: on it

McWhoredick has banned IhateKahl from the chat

Kyb: Hallelujah. 

McWhoredick: lol, good riddance again

 


End file.
